Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ode to a Bitch

[[Note: Playing with form poetry -- a rarity]]

Man's archaic fear won't change me.
Independant thought puts me in your way.
A blow-up barbie I will never be.

I'm a bitch when I demand that we
Both need to have equal treatment and pay.
Man's archaic fear won't change me.

In your fevered dreams you want me to plea
On my knees in your hedonic mind play.
A blow-up barbie I will never be.

You become an emotional amputee
Because I don't let your desires hold sway.
Man's archaic fear won't change me.

Despite it all, I give you honesty
Not demure lies created to make you stay.
A blow-up barbie I will never be.

You punish me for my defiant decree
That I'll stay this way until my last day.
Man's archaic fear won't change me.
A blow-up barbie I will never be.

Copyright (c) 1998 AMJ-M

Photo Credit:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/rossinabossio/283098409/ 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

For the Lulz!

Alright, I just had to share this one with the world. I could not stop laughing. This clip almost made me sorry for loser male stereotypes everywhere. Thankfully, I don't know many men that fit into this category. Although, I could dedicate it to someone "special".

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tech Corner: Digitally Painting a Shirt

I've finally got around to making a tutorial on painting in Photoshop. This one is on making a shirt. Hopefully, I'll get around to doing one on pants and dresses soon.

Link: How to Paint a Shirt In Photoshop

Monday, November 2, 2009

Sex Addiction - Who Knew?

I've been an avid follower of VH1's Dr. Drew rehab reality series since it began a few years ago. To my surprise, they have broken away from handling drug addiction and slid over to the more obscure area of sex addiction in Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. I must admit that the idea of someone being addicted to the wonderful world of copulation sends me into a fit of giggles that makes my stomach cramp. However, it was clear that the therapists on the show didn't find it funny at all. According to VH1 Blog, 3%-6% of the American population are battling this little known addiction.

Although I have never known any one in my life in rehab for sexual issues, you can easily look to the celebrity world for such tales. In August 2009, E! Online confirmed that David Duchovny, the actor known for his roles in XFiles and Californication, was in a rehab for sex addiction. If you have a really good memory, you'll remember that movie actress Halle Berry accused the R&B singer Eric Benet of being oversexed and in serious need of rehabilitation. (I'm still wounded over that one. How could ya Eric!) Least we not forget, Michael Douglas has also been slapped with the sex addict moniker.

Premiere Show Highlights:
  • One of the rehab facility's workers checked porn star Penny Flame's(aka Jennifer Ketchum) luggage for sexy contraband such as sex aids, skin mags and knee pads(yea, knee pads). During the search, she confiscates a rather large phallic device nicknamed "Ron Jeremy".
  • Surfer James “Jamie” Lovett was shocked to find out that he had a growth in his throat that could mean he has the sexually transmitted virus, HPV.
  • Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain admitted to suffering a masturbation marathon that lasted all day with a total count of 18 orgasms.
  • Musician Phil Varone claimed to have slept with at least 3000 women.
After watching the show, I was left with a persistent thought. It seems that if someone does feel that their sex life is spinning out of control that they will have a serious battle to get it back to a normal level. Even the rehab environment offers extra obstacles. A crack addict doesn't have to sit and socialize with a bag of crack. However, sex addicts see possibly attractive sex partners everyday in the hallways and group therapy sessions. Temptation surrounds them.

I still don't know if I believe in sex addiction, but maybe the show will enlighten me as it progresses. I'll stay tuned.

Showtime: Sundays at 10PM EST on VH1

Further Reading:
Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew
David Duchovny Rehabbing for Sex Addiction
Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew (main)

Tech Corner: Make Your Own Tutorial Videos

Some months back, I became interested in making some small tutorials to help my Second Life customers operate some of my gadgets. After playing with a few freebies and demos for pricey programs, I discovered that I liked the screen capture video software called CamStudio the best. It was unbelievably simple to use and gave me the results I wanted. The one issue is that you have to set the settings properly, or you'll get a lot of crashes that will make you want to pull your hair out. Check out this How to Create a Video Tutorial with CamStudio page for settings, tips and post-production program suggestions.

Other Uses: machinima, instruct friends or co-workers on the use of a favorite program, demonstrate how to use your digital product to customers

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rutty/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Friday, October 30, 2009

My Ode to National Chocolate Day

Who new that the divine drug of chocolate had its own day?! I'm a bit late but  this sort of awesome occassion still  needs to be celebrated with something equally sinful and succulent. (Granted this poem isn't about chocolate. But, it does have the word mentioned ... err ... once.)

What's for Dinner?

The smell of strawberry syrup
Drifts through the house as the cake cools
On the antique ebony table.
You are drawn by the sugary scents
(ones you haven't smelled in awhile).

Your Cool Water cologne enters first
Then I sense your heat from behind
As you fix your hands on my hips
In that familiar way
And run your overworked hands
Down the curves of my hips and thighs
That are hidden in the sheer
Wispy cloth of summertime.

I turn around, inhale in the
Exhilarating aromas
Then gently nibble your bottom lip
As I savor the taste and heat.
You pick me up by my waist
In that familiar way
(that men show their sensual strength)
And sit me on the table's edge.
My chocolate kissed legs wrap around you
And pull you in closer to me.

You slide a succulent strawberry,
Drenched with juices and cream,
From the cake as you carefully
Place it between my open lips
You pull me in near. Your lips are
so close that your breath trembles me
As you say, "What's for Dinner?"

Copyright (c) 1998 AMJ-M

Photo Credit:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/ilianov/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Read about National Chocolate Day.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Nudity Is Fine in Your Own Home -- Think Again?

I swear just when I've thought I've seen it all another crazy story crawls out of the woodwork. So, there I was browsing news stories when I find an article about a man that was arrested for an indecent exposure charge. Of course, my first thoughts were of some pimple faced loser lurking near a young girl's window or flashing ladies at the supermarket. But oh no, this man was in all places ... his own house.

Eric Williamson, the accused, claims that he was making coffee in the nude like he did most mornings and didn't even notice a woman and child cutting through his lawn. Apparently, the unnamed woman glances over to his window and goes, "ZOMFG ... sinful nakedness! Call the Police!!"

I mean I have been aware for a long time that the prudish conservative sect seem to find something intrisically sinister about the nude human body. God forbid someone take a non-sexual picture or make a painting of someone in the buff. Surely, the mere sight will spark craven lust and rape in the streets.

We all know the world is filled with drama llamas and alarmist. But the scary part of this story is that the cops actually arrested this man in his own home over such a flimsy claim. Perhaps, they should have suggested to the woman not to walk through other people's lawns and stare in their windows.

Perhaps, we should all start taking showers in our undies. You never know when your neighbor might walk by, hitch up a ladder to your window and claim they were scarred by witnessing your naughty nakediness.

News Article: